Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Warning: Rant.

If you don't want to read this, I don't blame you but I need to vent and this is the safest way to do it without causing harm to furniture or actual people.

My depression has been recovering. The introduction of regularish exercise, good meals and social contact has worked. That is until my family get involved.

I know normal mums like to have their say in their kids lives but I'm really starting to think my mum is trying to sabotage me.

I'd just come home from a 2km walk and had done it in under 30 minutes. I was stoked so I thought I'd ring my family to say Hi and tell them how I was going. Didn't get a chance to do this. My mum decided it was time to air the dirty family laundry and pull some skeletons out of the cupboard. OK, this doesn't seem so bad until to hear the reason why. She's going to be on telly. Not because this is something that needs to be understood, just because I might get it second hand otherwise. I should also mention this was particularly horrid news and she told me when I was home alone and over the phone. This sort of stuff needs to be in person, don't you think?

The next night my mum bails up her family and tells them this information and then leaves them saying that she feels so much better. Damn shame about the mess she's just left behind her. This is the same family that we've never really been close to, not really social or friendly just civil.

I have spent the better part of a year trying very hard to build up relationships with my cousins and aunts and uncles but that's now been smashed to smithereens.

Adding to all this mess, I suggested to my mum to see a psychologist. She said she didn't need to because she's now come to grips with what's happened and her dippy hippy friends would help her if she needed it. I know these people don't have any qualifications in counselling and I wonder if they're doing more damage than good.

I now need to decide if I want my parents involved in my life or not. This is not the first time my family have messed up my plans and mental state. I don't think I have much more left in me.

It's been five days since and I've only just felt the need to scoff down a block of chocolate. I really don't want to fall off the wagon with my weight loss especially as I've just reached 5kg lost.

I think I'll get on the exercise bike and try to recover some of the points I've wasted.

Sorry for this. Hopefully my next post will be better/happier.


PS. Seeing my counsellor tomorrow and I did warn her what happened. We'll see what comes from that.

1 comment:

  1. Hey there, so it's in the air, eh? Like you said... hang in there! I hope the news was more enlightening than horrifying, at least retrospectively? x